WORRIED TAKES LEAVE AT ANY TIME

Some time back I mentioned that I might be off for awhile, citing my Compaq's need for medical attention from the computer doctor. I may have also mentioned personal reasons, I don't recall. Compaq is still limping along, but personal matters are coming to a head.

I am a very private person and I don't like to talk about my personal life very much. I have posted personal business before in response to circumstances, but that is not my usual style. Granny knows a lot about my life, but that's between me and her. Granny is the soul of discretion and doesn't speak about matters without consent.

I have mentioned my 96 year old mother. Her health has been failing for quite a while; her aged heart muscle, having beat more than once a second for almost a century is worn out and cannot push the blood strongly enough as needed. My family and I have been waiting for several months for the dreaded phone call, expecting to hear that she had passed peacefully in her sleep. The doctor told my younger sister on Friday that it was a matter of weeks or less. Although expected and knowing it is best, it is still difficult to lose your mother. So we've been under considerable stress. Knowing that the end was not far off, we have been involved in completing pre-need arangements and planning the services, one in her home town and one 250 miles away where our family cemetary is located.

Today we received the call but it was not as expected. Mother has developed pulmonary emboli and is in grave condition in ICU. As you know, blood clots in the lungs are very painful and she must be given morphine to alleviate some of the pain. It appears that her passing will not be as quiet and peaceful as we had expected. It is a hard thing to know your mother is suffering greatly. If she lived very long in this condition, I would opt for assisted-death, but Texas has no such mercy laws and my siblings would never agree.

One of the specialists has scheduled more tests tomorrow as he believes there is more going on besides the multiple blood clots. She has more in her legs, so that presents added dangers. It doesn't look good for Mother, even though they are giving her medication to dissolve the clots. She is so old, weakened and debilitated and has little stamina left. There is a chance she may pull out of this, but a very slim one.

I would like very much to be with her at this time but I am dependent on my children for transportation. As there is no way to know how long or short the time may be, and when the time comes they will have to be off work for several days, so they can ill afford to take leave now. I must wait, and every time the phone rings .... I really don't feel like blogging now, and when I go to Corpus Christi, I will be gone for awhile. There will be much to do even after the funeral. Granny is very well able to hold down the fort during my absence.