OK, Future Was Yesterday, you asked for it! All pictures are from the internet. I don't have many pictures of my own.
1. There are 2 kinds of people that live in trailer parks. One kind is just folks. The other kind is what people call 'trailer trash'. I was born to the second category.I grew up fast, hard and mean and wild as a country buck. I had to to survive. My mom and pop were alkies and so were all their friends. Drinking beer and fighting was their main entertainment. People didn't think they had a good time on Saturday nights unless there was at least one good brawl. Then everybody would doctor their wounds and go back to drinking beer together. Mom was a pretty good cook though until Pop hid his wake-up beer in the oven and Mom lit it to bake biscuits. The beer exploded and blew the door off the oven and Mom refused to cook anymore. I know there is a joke about that but it really happened. Alkies and druggies aways hide their wake-up stuff so nobody else will get it first the next morning. I had to start doing the cooking. I was out on my own at sixteen.
The picture is not our trailer but kind of like it. One difference is that there isn't enough junk cars and old appliances in front. Mom planted cactuses in the thrown out commode. She thought that was really funny and always invited someone to use the pottie. Pop made a barbecue pit out of an old washing machine. I guess that was recycling before it became popular.
2. Friends are good to have and we had quite a few. They weren't very classy but most of the women were ok people. One woman actually used her front as a cup holder like this woman did, and carried her cigarettes in her tank top. Sometimes the pack would slide down and give her a strange squarish lump in her front.
We never had a hot tub like this, probably because that bunch of drunks never thought of it, but we did have an old bathtub that the little kids used as a swimming pool. This bunch looks sorta like some that hung out at our place.
3. I was very athletic and was a first class runner. That was a matter of survival too. As soon as I grew buds on my chest, males of all ages started chasing me. Old guys that looked like this:
thought they looked like this:
If they had looked like this, I probably wouldn't have run so fast. ;)
I also learned to be a good fighter, down and dirty, low and mean. Go straight for the eyeballs or gonads and act crazy wild. People learned to leave me alone.
4. I loved sports. I was a good shot and liked to hunt and sometimes went hunting with the guys. That sharpened my running and fighting skills too until I shot one of them's big toe off and threatened to shoot a little higher. After that we got along pretty good.
The Old Woman's friends went skiing in Colorado and places like that but when I was young we did mud skiing like in this picture. Guys would also pull a bike behind a pickup truck and if you fell off got road rash from hell. We'd also "surf" by riding on a car roof and hanging on to the framework of the windshield. If the driver made a swift turn or fast stop you went flying off and it hurt like hell. A couple of friends got hospital-hurt that way. It was pretty stupid but kids always think they're invincible.
5. My attitude towards men wasn't too good, kind of two way. Couldn't live with them and couldn't live without them. I liked men pretty good but from early experiences didn't trust them too much. I was no prude and liked sex just fine but it had to be MY choice and on MY terms. It could be bed or battle and sometimes both. Most of the time I had to be in a relationship with a guy to bed him. That's not to say I didn't have a few one-nighters, usually after too much Jose Cuervo and lime. Just like in the song:
Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys?
Did I shoot out the lights?
Did I dance on the bar?
Did I start any fights?
Now wait a minute
Things don't look too familiar
Who is this cowboy
Who's sleepin' beside me?
He's awful cute, but how'd I
Get his shirt on?
I had too much Tequila last night
Yeh, I had a few nights like that. Sounds like my theme song back in the day. Probably did it all. I worked hard, played hard, drank hard, and fought hard. My background and role models wasn't the best. Not making excuses, just stating facts. I don't excuse anything I did.
6. Somewhere along the way I met Old Woman, but she wasn't old then. We didn't become friends right away. Damn but she was a knockout, so damn pretty and always dressed up. I thought she was a snotty rich bitch and I was jealous as hell of her. We traveled in completely different circles and I don't even remember where I first met her. Probably when she was wrapped up in her do gooder work and slumming it. I'd see her once in a while and finally she started talking to me, and little by little we became friends, a very unlikely pair. The rest is history, as they say. Damn if she didn't civilize me! More or less. ;) I even went to school and got my GED and job training. Got a good job and found a better class of friends. I'm almost respectible now. I said ALMOST! Caught me a real good husband and it broke my heart when he died. Too g**d*** early!
7. Kids are cool. I like the little scoundrels. I have a couple but no great grands like Old Woman and Granny Ann have. Too many young people these days want careers first and wait too long to start a family. I'm not as kid orientated as Old Woman is but I believe like she does that grownups need to protect and take care of them and raise them with good standards.
8. I'm a good dancer and love to dance. That's one thing Old Woman and I have in common, or used to, before she got too arthritic to cut it any more. We had some times out dancing. She hardly ever drank anything and I cut down a lot; we weren't looking for dates or to get soused - we just wanted to dance. Some guys didn't understand that but if one got too pushy, I'd step back a notch or two to my old habits and discourage him real quick. I can be real discouraging when I've a mind to. Can be real ENcouraging too if the notion strikes me, but rarely when I was out with the Old Woman.
9. Art: I wasn't much of an art lover in my younger years. Never found much value in pictures of dogs playing poker or nearly naked women on calendars issued by the local wrecker company.
At the trailer park, tattoos like this one were greatly admired as high art and hilarious:
In her efforts to civilize me, the Old Woman turned me on to real art. She's a great art lover. For me, I think that Picasso and Dali dudes are a load of crap but I do like some of the stuff she admires so much. It's real pretty. That Van Gogh painted some real pretty pictures but I don't know why he whacked off his ear. Are all artists nuts? Wading through the bios of some of them it looks like a lot were squirrelly or dope users. Now I do like that Michaelangelo's statues and paintings. I think he was a genius.
10. Music: Mostly I like the old fashioned honkytonking country and western music. Belly rubbing music. I like some contemporary music but I never learned to like those damned operas Old Woman and Granny Ann likes. Her last husband was an a$hat but I had to agree with him on one thing. Why can't the actors simply speak their lines instead of catterwalling it? And do it in English? I did learn to like the ballet, though. It is really pretty and graceful.
All righty now, The Future Was Yesterday. Is that enough random stuff on me or too much? If it's too much, too bad. It's already posted. Not as good as yours but.....it's all mine.
You are an all right dude.Comments:
Labels: Gadfly meme - 10 random